And They Lived Happily Ever After.........

Yesterday, I watched a movie which had me in fits. Which should tell you that it was Indian and it was supposed to be "serious". Nearly every Indian movie has only one story-line which clearly marks the beginings and endings of "When Harry met Sally". This movie which I saw was no more different than its companions but its mere ending was so stupid (yes, I'm using the word stupid), that I can't believe the director of the film went through such a hard time making it if he just had to end it like he did'nt care anymore. Maybe he just decided to end it all for the sake of an "ending" or converted it into an ugly version of a hollywood movie. That is the message the viewers will get if they waste their time on it. The initial story-line is the same as all: Boy meets girl and girl meets boy when both of them are engaged to people they havent even seen.....imagine that! Then to get home they very much "accidently" end up travelling together. What happens after that is waaay too hilarious. The girl the guy is supposed to marry turns out to be the best friend of the one he falls in love with. And after many mishaps and "funny" incidents, they both end up having their weddings in the same hall. Are they for real? Obviously the director believes in too many coincidences.
The love-sick guy arrives laden on a horse while the he sees the love of his life (yeah right) circling the fire with her to-be-husband. Suddenly, on cue smoke is seen arising from the area where the food is being cooked and fire erupts (so conveniantly) burning the hall and making every body rush to save their lives. May I ask a question? Will ever a mother stand quietly at one side and watch her child get hurt? You might think that Indian movies offer the inevitable but the inevitably funnier thing is that only the bride is left behind the flames, exhibiting a series of fashionable screams while her father cries helplessly and the mother? The mother seems to have totally disappeared. The camera zooms onto the faces of all the people, the woman trying to look scared while urging their mascara to stay intact while the men stare as if attacked by an acute case of constipation. I know that India is making a very healthy developement, far more than Pakistan and I do see fire engines roaring away on our streets, could'nt any of the guests call a fire engine? They all seemed to have gotten amnesia while watching the hero (of course) to ride faithfully and save his betrothed. And this is not all. After making a rather crude declaration of love for each other in front of every one, the father of the guy-stealer (and that too of her best friend!) gives them his blessing and the other poor bride, was as you can predict dissolves into tears. Nope. Not at all. Some mother theresian instinct awakens in her and she makes a gesture as if to say I give up! You can have this fatso, I'll find a much cuter one!.......And the fire rages on. Even a Norman Wisdom movie has not made me laugh so much as this one. Can it ever happen that you go to a wedding and the bride insinuates that she does not want to marry the guy?! And what about all that money which was being scrimped and saved by the parents for a whole one year? Oh yes they have hundreds of trees growing in their gardens which are yielding money instead of leaves and fruits. And as for the hero and his to-be-wife, they will get tired of each other in a day and regret the havoc they created....who cares even??
What angered me was the amount of reality missing from this piece of shit. All Indian movies portray one essential disbelief : All is well that ends well. This is not so. Nobody's life is perfect. I once saw a cartoon of  Baby Blues where the Dad is reading a fairy tale to his kids:
Dad :....and they lived happily ever after.
Zoe : How can they live happily ever after? Did'nt they get chicken pox or a case of yellow fever or something?
Dad :Yes but this is just a story!
Zoe : Even then how can they live happily ever after?!?!


Happily ever after huh?!

    Since child hood we have read this phrase so many times that it has crusted and gotten mold in the years ahead. Removing children from reality is a very dangerous thing to do and to imply that life has no problems and troubles. So what if you tell kids that :
Snow White poisoned her husband? (Like mother like daughter)
Cindrella fell down the stairs in her glass slippers and broke her neck?
Ariel got fished out and was cooked and smoked?
Sleeping Beauty ate sleeping pills?
Belle got eaten by her beast of a husband?
Pinnochio is a liar?
Mulan was a racist?
Hansal and Gretal were canibals?
THIS is reality.....well not so candidly but what the heck, children nowadays learn much more worse from the internet.
As for me I seriously regret the 2 hours I wasted on this thing. Come to think of it maybe it has one main lesson for me : Not to ever watch a movie of my Aunt's choice!