Why I'm Sad

I want to be happy. I really do. I feel happy when I study and I learn something useful. I'm happy when I can watch The Simpsons all day long. I'm happy when I'm eating my favourite things. But you can't remain happy for long. It's impossible. If a person tells you, he's happy, he's satisfied, life could never have been better, he's lying. This world sees to that. Imagine this. You're happy, eating a shawrma in your car and you spot a kid, a starved animal hunting for food, how would that make you feel? Happy? Satisfied? Life could never have been better right?
This is what life really is. A dance between happyness, sadness and the doubt between these two things. And all those things that you think when you're doubting make you the person that you are. Are you thinking about yourself? About that left-over pizza from yesterday? Or are you thinking of giving it to that emaciated crow in your yard? This is what Allah wants us to do. We are His people His army. Life is not about lying down in one place and dying in it the next. It's about giving. You have never really lived until someone cannot return the favour you bestowed upon them. So keep your eyes open and never hesitate to help someone. Pray for that person agonizing over their exams. Pray for the family sitting in a rictus during their loved one's operation. Give, in any way you can and when you cannot anymore, that is the time to die. In peace. Happiness.

Sleep Much?

The irrevocable feeling that tonight, sleep is not going to be my companion, the need to close my eyes for a nap and the monster or ghoul I see behind my closed lashes, the non-existent foot steps I hear on the stairs, expecting a claw on my shoulder, Freddy Kruger standing in my room, the metal hand glinting ominously in the sepulchral glow even though the movie's been played on my screen like three years ago and this character doesn't crop up until now, the realization that today is Friday the 13th, then I know it's Appy's night at the hospital tonight.
I dread it, this dance of my sister's between the hospital and her warm bed, occurring once every 4 days. When she returns after a night, I bask in the glow of being able to close my eyes and sleep soundly, not caring about any demon, dementor or banshee standing at the edge of my bed. I even turn off the light (something I'm not famous for!) and enjoy a marvelous rest.

But the day I realize I'm going to be all alone in the upper half of my house, is enough to keep me awake for the rest of the night. Which is a good thing as a couple of snatches of sleep are already out of my reach.
I wonder what I'm gonna do when I grow up eventually. Keeping a lot of cats so I can sleep if I live alone (which I'm actually gonna do!) or try to live with my parents (hell to the no).
I guess the first one is something to think about.
I just hope by the time I'm ready to live on my own, I have erased these irrational fears (read stupid) and can perfectly snooze off in any environment.
Or it could be just this that maybe I'm going to be so pooped out by working all day (or all night!) that I'm not gonna care about any supernatural thing lurking around in the background while I rest with my eyes completely closed....Post up a sign for the dementor buddy or the bogeyman; Give it a rest dude! I'm  ex-Hausted!!
Maybe that will be it. But I mustn't get my hopes high. Even now I have to glance back over my shoulders to investigate what that squishing sound was just now...Oh wait, it's just granny's wet slipper's...walking by itself? Oh no.....maybe I'm hallucinating from lack of serotonin in my blood.....

A World Without Time

If Time did not exist, there would be no late-comers and no early birds. If time didn't exist, there would be no dead lines, no schedule. People won't hurry along at 7 in the morning with a look that specifies most of me is still in bed. There would be no traffic jams, no honking cars. You wouldn't see people screaming at each other hoarse just because their ignition pipe was broken and they're late for work. There would be no jostling on the pavements as no one would be on time or even late. In fact, everyone would be striding peacefully in their own wake, taking out the time to watch the world as it passes slowly by.
If time didn't exist then students would not hurry to complete the paper; you would simply hand in your paper when you finish it. There would be no breakfast, lunch or dinner. We would simply eat when we would feel hungry(in my case; always!)

If time didn't exist, people would age without realization. We wait every year to turn one second, one minute older and in our hearts we would know that every tick of the clock takes away something. But without time, this little epiphany would come much much later.
Time governs our being, our existence. We are dependent on it. It owns us in a way that we cannot deny. It uses us, mocks us by going slowly in hard times and rushing past like a Freight train when life is good. It puts itself in our hands, giving us the power to at least make it better or bitter.
A king once, asked his vizier to write something on his hand to gain the notoriety to look at it and become satisfied, whether it be sunshine and daisies or thunder and black clouds.
The vizier wrote just four words: This Time Will Pass. 
Time is indeed a blessing. 

What My Children Will Know

When my children start their existence, I will tell them to enjoy it and not take life seriously. I will tell them life

is a narrow path with many destinations leading to endless brims. I will tell them not to choose the correct path but rather, the correct destination. When my daughter starts to grow up and starts to feel uncomfortable about her body, I will tell her that at her age, I felt the same and that she will grow used to it. When my son gets low grades or does not meet my expectations, I will encourage him to treat this failure as a lesson. I will tell him, though success gives us many things, failure teaches us far more better things. I will tell my children it is better to fail than to cheat. When my children are confused what path they should take in life, I will comfortably guide them, yet at the same time give them the choice and independence of their own decisions. When teenage hits them and they become moody, I will give them space, time but assure them with invisible words that I can help. I will tell my children to respect their father for he works hard and what he earns, he earns for them. When my children get a thought they think they ought to share, I will not judge them and leave them not astray. When my daughter grows up, I will not pressurize her into marrying someone she doesn't want to and tell her that matches are made in heaven, someday her prince will come. I will teach my children that a life spent living for one's sake is a life not spent at all. I will tell them being successful does not mean riches, big houses, bigger cars but a happy, satisfied life. I will tell them that by helping others, you can gain your serenity, peace in life. I will tell my children to always respect adults and praise their decisions because they have been there before. I will tell them not to trust anyone blindly, not even their elders for elders are only human and may be wrong. I will tell them to hold their head up high and face the world with confidence. I will tell my children that nothing lasts forever and whatever they do should only be for the Hereafter, this world is nothing. I will tell my children to do what is Right and not give a fig about what others say. Lastly, I will teach my children to believe in Allah and in Him only as this life is all about what we get in the Hereafter.

"We all have that invisible watch on our exterior. We just don't know how many decades, years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds are left till our existence crumbles. Don't ever forget death. Don't shy away from it rather greet it like an old friend and face the hereafter honorably."

The Woes and Foes in Medicine.

I woke up to the sound of pattering rain. My room was dark and gloomy. My eyes wandered to to the clock and I was surprised to see it was only 11 in the morning. The epiphany of grief hit me in waves and I knew the dementors had come for me at last.
"It's raining!" All of a sudden my sister and aunt became jumping jacks as if they had been wound up very energetically, the key flushed away into the toilet. I stood morosely, the thunder lightening in my eyes. It was obvious, I was going through the terrible blahs of my life. And my best friends message, "Brace yourselves! Thor is coming!" did nothing to lift up the corners of my mouth as I turned round to hit the books. I mean, literally hit those 10 feet piles of utter ridiculousness.....

Don't get me wrong. I love to read and study and learn and all that jazz which is not accepted at the place where I go. To come out flying on my Firebolt with flying colours, I would have to grab one book (the one recommended by the teacher, of course) learn it by heart without any sense of what I'm trapping into my brain and reproduce it. No, not reproduce it, produce it as it is on paper. And hey! I grabbed the 1st position in more than 100 students! And I didn't even know what I was doing!
Sometimes I feel as if the brain is a vestigial organ. No thinking, no integration, no sequence. In fact! You should give me a lobotomy. You know, cut out all that useless gray matter that's taking up all this space in my head. But leave the hippocampus please! That's my secret one-way ticket to "success"!
It's so ironic. Good scores are all that matter. If you use your brain, it's a mockery. A laugh riot.
To think, when we finally deal with a patient, our "learning" will be so "helpful". As in the amount of information stored in our heads, of which we can neither make head or tail out of, would be very essential in saving a life. Like...like a definition! Better than cure!
Apart from all the wise cracks and dripping sarcasm (at which I'm so good at), struggle is a constant thorn in my side. Oh, I mean my oblique muscles. And the myriad looks and comments *you know that book is not for your level, it's way too hard to understand better yet memorize* seem to stifle the life out of me *I'm way too young to die* and the laughs and the anyone-not-figuring-me-out phase and the "average student" tattooed across my forehead like an unwanted advertisement......
All in all, the sun shines brighter on the bright side *obviously* and the grass is always greener on the other side *myopic vision baby* See? I'm doing it again.
I'm waiting and working for a feather in my cap one day. I know it'll come. An eagles. No no! A stork's. Or maybe a sparrow's. Oh, wait I already have too many itty bitty sparrow feather's in my torn cap.......

One of those things!

Bruno Mars had a grenade, and Taio Cruz had dynamite, so they threw them at Katy Perry who exploded like a firework. The bang was so loud that the Black Eyed Peas forgot the time while Rihanna had memory loss and went around saying whats my name. Eminem looked around and said i' m not afraid, then Willow Smith wipped her hair which scared the far east movement who began to fly like a G6, then JLo fell on the floor, Nelly then woke up and said PHEW! It was just a dream!
And then Kanye west called for help to the ET! :D
And Justin Beiber got afraid and lost so he decided to 'eenie meenie miney mo' to get home :)
but he soon found that he was under the mistletoe so he called Selena Gomez to tell her and she said Tell Me Something I Don't Know!
And then Miley Cyrus got bored and went to party in the U.S.A and Demi Lovato went to LaLa Land without telling Rihanna which made her say I love the way you lie!
Suddenly chris brown jumped up and said Look At Me Now...why jay sean became chicken little exclaiming that The Sky is Falling Down!
And then Kesha began to tick tock which made Thirty seconds to mars angry and they declared war which made Green Day say Wake me up when September ends!

And then green day realized that they were the American Idiots and Nickleback ran Farawayyy! :D

And then Katy Perry woke up from her teenage dream and Taylor Swift realized life is just a love story! The End!

P.S: If you're wondering, what the hell did I just read, check out my blog title. Cheerios!