Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde?!

 There comes a time once or twice if our luck is as bad as our fate, in a week when the dreaded timetable outside the Physiology lab brings us closer to our doom and the rush of your friend's voices finally tells you that your eyesight is perfect, ensuring the presence of the dreaded P.S in your class tomorrow! You must be wondering who this P.S is. No, it does not stand for "Psychotic Sir". His name instead of Sir Perwaiz Sandhela (or is it Sandhila?) is accentuated as P.S for I don't know what reason as in to induce fear in our heart's!
So, when this day arrives all the kids are seen huddled up in the middle of every bench, no one is very eager to sit at the corners to risk getting their face slapped or ears pinched.Physiology books are open in the Anatomy class and the students pretend to listen to the origin of Deltoid while memorizing the functions of cell membrane. At last the dreaded bell rings and a scuffle ensues at the front of the class, all the boys clambering to sit in the middle and the corner seat near the wall or risk getting their ego busted. The ones sitting near the walls are very much hidden with their shoulders hunched up looking like a worn out Hunch Back of Notre Dam. Talking ceases abruptly and whispers die down as the P.S saunters into the class, slithering like a snake and every one who is watching him getting glazed eyes and very eager to see who gets the first knock on the head. The P.S spends most of his time teaching while sitting on the chair and now as he sits down due to the pure relief of the students, sighs are echoed down the benches. Today, he seems to be in a good mood but you can never tell, don't get your hopes high. All through the lecture, students sit in fear. Suddenly he stands up, bequeathing the ground beneath him and demanding an answer from the victim while boxing his ears. In about 10 minutes or so about 5 boys have had their faces slapped and 2 girls have been called the 'off-spring of an owl'( it does not sound insulting but try saying it in Urdu). Like a bull, he ravages the whole class, noticing the flickering red cloth every where and charging upon the wretched prey. Finally after taking the attendance (you have to raise your arm as swiftly as Flash or watch the murderous look on his face) he leaves the class sauntering in his gait and perhaps chuckling to himself, "The fools! One swipe at the head and I've got 'em eating outta my hand!" While, us poor larks have to wait one whole week to see this showdown drama again.....!!

The Dirty Picture

       By now even the smallest kid in every household is aware of the stunt that the famous Veena Malik pulled. It was the first thing I saw when I opened my twitter and FB account's. On twitter while sifting through the never-ending tweet's I found the word 'Pakistani actress' run through my eyes in a tweet by BBC. When I opened the link given next to it, I was shocked. Stunned more like it. At first I could'nt decipher out that was it really VM? Further screams of 'OMG' from PJ downstair's confirmed my fears correctly. I was mulling quite badly about it and showed the picture to my sister who just laughed and said,"Some people will do anything for 15 minutes of fame!". That got me thinking! If people want fame and recognition, is it important to strip of your self-respect?? There are thousands of people famous in this world, did they all generate a 'dirty picture' of themselves to go around from one screen to another? I guess that is what you call 'a naked approval'.
       VM is a grown-up adult. She can do as she pleases. But the picture that she shot was not only about her. It was a disgracing and degrading reflection of Pakistan. Every where on the net the words of 'Pakistani Actress' kept lingering in my mind even after I switched off the computer. I would'nt have cared less if she roamed around the streets in that way but it all comes down to one's nationality. The already tarnished image (I don't know why) of my country has been crushed by VM. All we can really do is pray for her that she opens her eyes (and senses!) one day and realizes what a mess she has created and left behind her. Or rather.....the clothes she has left behind!

A New Year!

It's wonderful how time really flies by. We grow up minute by minute, second by second, entering into another era year by year. It's truly invigorating that time has both the attitude of flying away and being there when we need it the most. It neither has the tendency to roam around longer than it should nor does it really fly by when and wherever we want it. We need time to make time. For ourselves and for the people around us. When the 31st of December looms ahead, all the people start making celebrations as if it's their last day on Earth. What we really need to think is, what have we really accomplished this year that needs celebrating? And, sadly for our country, celebrations are a long way ahead. Hard work and success need to come before celebrations. Here, celebrations come first and foremost and the things before it don't come at all. Even if we don't have anything to celebrate, we can just resolute and pray to work harder, better and with dedication for a better life on this Earth as well as for the life Hereafter.
The start of a new year depends greatly on the year to come. We need to spend our time wisely and happily with the people we love. Get a break from your studies or take a day off from work and help your mother in the kitchen or your sibling with a difficult math question or just spend time with them. This will make you happy and you will feel a change in your new year. A new year is not just new because it's the previous year plus one. A new year should be au courant for you that you should do something original this year rather than do the same things all over again. Your class-mate irritates you, tell her. You get hounded by bullies, stand up to them. You dislike your boss, try to intimidate him. This year we should all try to bring some advanced changes in ourselves and our surrounding environment.
Well, this year my new year's list is----->
1) Control my temper [very hard to keep....]
2) Study!......the inevitable....
3) Try to attain a broader view toward's life
4) Try to help other's
5) Just be happy!
Apart from the new year festivities, there is also the rumor or a fact about 21 December haunting peoples minds. Scripted from the Mayan revolutionary religion, people are reciprocating the end of the world aka Dooms Day on the 21st Of December. Maybe it is real, maybe not. Personally, I don't think it's the end of the world this year, because we don't have any idea about Dooms Day or in our terms Qayamat, that is  a secret kept from us by Allah. But, secretly, I do think something big is totally gonna happen on 21/12/2012. Lets wait and see whether we will also have to make a run for the big underwater ships in America........

Against your own will.

There comes a time when your erratic aunt feels the sudden need to visit her very old friend whom she once sat with in school days. And ofcourse you are the person to accompany her. Preparations are made, calling her up (not a very difficult task for your aunt), deciding which day would be best to visit, telling the driver in advance the date and time of your sojourn (which he very needlessly asks) and then you are free to sit down and mull over your decision to go *When did I even agree to go? In my sleep??* but not wanting to depress your aunt and for the sake of her tears, you hange the noose around your neck. Alas, the fated day arrives, you think that you are just making a big deal out of it. Just sit there like a mannequin, smile and nod at the right times and try to look real bored and pass on signals to aunt that its time to go. Easy enough, done that loads of times before.No harm in doing so and if you disagree, there will be much more painful music for your ears to hear, thus you head out the door with her pondering over your examination days. One of your aunts major tasks? Getting lost. Thus, it takes about an hour to reach the destination which could have been done in thirty minutes. You are greeted and then taken into a large living room. Without any furthur ado, your aunt and her friend lapse into a deep discussion which you are certain will not only put you but your cat to sleep. You sit and start dreaming about your crush when the freind asks if you would like anything to drink? "A pepsi would be nice but do bring out some cold pakola if you have any", you would have liked to say out loud but ofcourse can't. Your aunt is pursuading her friend not to bring out anything while you stare in horror at her, trying not to look too obvious *What? One hour in the sweltering heat and nothing to eat in this claustrophobic place? Where is the justice in there??* But fortunately God was on your side and the lady goes into the kitchen to get some refreshments while you grab the chance to tell your aunt to hurry and eat and run!

Expectations grow as the friend takes a long time to come back from the kitchen and you start to feel happy that atleast SOMEthing paid of from this visit but alas! All you eyes greet is a tray carrying biscuits you hate and tea! You never drink tea unless at night to study! You munch on a soggy biscuit while refusing to drink the brown stuff but failing to do so. The lady is literally begging you to eat the sour biscuits, irritatingly *No! I don't wanto to eat them! Why don't you just leave me alone??!*, thus gaining inspiration that you'll never treat your guests the way she does *No fair getting down on your knees, please eat those stale, maggot-ridden biscuits, I've been wanting to get rid of them for so long*. And as my sister says, "Khaao nahin to maar dein gay" (If you don't eat, we'll kill you!)
After masticatiing and with much difficulty, swallowing the inedible stuff and a sip of the scalding, milk-ridden tea, you finally think it's time to go. But not your aunt. Totally ignoring you, she sits like an attentive student towards her friend. You think, she could'nt have paid THIS much attention in class towards the teacher as much as she does now! Just then, perhaps catching a depressed look upon your face, the lady makes an effort to introduce you to her children. You are in no mood for socializing but give way like a defeated barrier. And what is more to boost you? A couple of *whiny and loud* toddlers. What a way to spend a Saturday afternoon! You think you could have had much fun giving an examination than this. And what a thrilling way to torture someone! You think this woman could earn her pocket-money by opening a fresh torture-chamber in her basement. Or was this a method of driving away guests?
At last, the horrendous evening! ended and as you sail away thankfully in the car with your aunt who pipes up, "My! I enjoyed a lot today! Looks like you also got a bit spry and verdant because of the visit! We'll go again next week okay? And you can't help but laugh and laugh and laugh............

I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!





I can hardly believe it! I am at last free from that damned, stupid test! No late-night cramming, no listening to PJ *Go and study*, no lecture's from sis *Is that the way to study?*, no loathsome books in my room (the first best thing I did right after I came was to junk 'em in the store-that's where they belong torturous devils!), the grass is looking much greener (that's what they say-the grass is always greener on the other side!), sky is looking much bluer, sun shining brighter, food tastes greater, no, study, study, study, study is finished! Yesssssssssssss!!
My room is looking a LOT cleaner with those books gone. Now I can truly relax and do stuff which I have been yearning to do for so long! And at last have time for myself. I was really planning to write a lot as the test (or rather say testS) have drained a lot of my energy. And the fact that I did not get in does so not change my plans. My family's happy that I at least got into a medical school (not that I wanted to) but as long as they are satisfied, I'm too, why give a shit about any one else?!
I did not feel a thing when the result came, it was inevitable and I was expecting it so no expectations, no tears. Rather, I was much relieved that I won't even have the tension accumulating inside me now that I know where I stand. That is gone and I am again a care-free and tension-free person that I was before! Yaay!
Even if I do feel down about something, I just need to talk to my sis or call up my best pal Anthony. Both of them immediately make things right again!
About today, I just sat in front of the computer and watched a dozen movies ( The Secret Window, Jurassic Park, 27 Dresses) and PJ did not say anything! Usually she says about a hundred.

So, nowadays, I plan to spend a lot of time with my family and yes, that includes my cats also. During those torturous days, I only met them when I got to fed them. Other than that, I did'nt have time! And Physics, Chem and Biology have rotted my brain so much that I can hardly think!
Sometimes, one can really guess how hectic studies are. Constantly, you are reminded of the fact that you have to go and study. Even the talk of it makes me want to vomit! The routine seriously gets totally disabled during "those" days. You get up at 7 kicked by your sister out of bed, have a biiig breakfast under her watchful eye and finally sit miserably at your desk while watching your devilish sister contently get into bed and go to sleep. While you suffer on......

                  Just today, I woke up with a feeling of sounding premonition and doom. For a minute I just sat there like a dummy, trying to figure out why was I feeling as if surrounded by dementors when suddenly it hit me...I didn't have to study anymore! I can do what I want to do today! Surfing the net, reading a book....anything! My patronus had chased away the dementors! No need of hiding Harry Potter inside my text-book, no lectures about why I'm not studying, I'm freeee, I'm freeee, I'm freeeeeeeee...........! At last, but now that I have gotten into the insufferable bondage named 'Medical' and made the 'Unbreakable Vow', I guess my sister will be a lot harder on me in the matter of studies than she was before! And as much as I can party right now, I can hardly keep the reality from hitting me that the foreign looking objects in my sisters cupboard, on which I once upon a time used to gag on, are going to be cracked open very hesitantly by me! And reminded of my sisters quips in the past *Don't make that kind of face you WILL have to read them one day!* and while she pipes up *OMG! I'm going to study this today! I can hardly wait!* with me looking on with utter disbelieve (that is she going a bit wacko? But, seriously, I do live with some weird people!), then I can't really say that I wasn't warned........

Study, study, study......and did I say Study?!

      At times I sit back and think, where have I been for the past one year? And the answer is always : Buried in my books! Literally buried inside them, decomposed and rotting like a piece of mold-eaten lasagna. Since the beginning of 2011 and even before that!, I was locked away in my hall, studying the hours away, winters were hot tea, my blanket with my cat curled up beside me and my books. New Year's eve passed away in the Law's of Thermodynamics and the damned structure of Benzene. Because of my incessant studying, I developed a chronic pain in my neck and my lower back which has since always made me roll my head every few seconds which is a total joke in my family, *Stop rolling your head like that! What will other people think about it, as if I really care about what other people think!*

     Even after my exams, after a mere 24 hours of freedom, I was again forced to touch (with a 1000 volt electric shock!) those disgusting books. And, totally forgetting the first year systematics....calling up my friends, *hey know how to do mass to volume?*........and receiving the same reply from the other end. Tea has become the bane of my existence, since November 2010. Tea always perks up my drooping eyes and allows me to concentrate. In about a week I'm gonna be giving my DOW test, for which I have been slaving away since April! Since April!! Where is the justice in that?! And I'm not bluffing, I used to wake up at Fajar each day, sat down to study and believe it or not, I also used to study at night. A few days were spent at Anthony's (my best buddy) house and at her cousin's wedding in early September "trying" to relax while constantly going over and over what I had studied in my mind, with Aunt (make that PJ) calling hour after hour *Is Nabeela studying?? Is Nabeela studying??* PJ, don't you think you're increasing the phone bill calling to make sure I'm glued to those hellish books?
      So, now I don't really care, I mean I'm not making it a life or death experience, which I have before and totally driven my self crazy over it, so no more. I get in, fine excellent, I don't get in.....OK! No need for a brain hemorrhage! And it's not a case of sour grapes, to anyone who is reading this!
       The past six months have not entirely been hellish. I used to study at night with my sister who had her exams at that time and it was great fun. I could ask her anything that I didn't understand right there and then and I also saw a couple of movies also like 'The House of Wax', 'Freaky Friday', 'Monster-in-Law' etc.
I like to study but the few days before a test are nightmarish. Also I get tensed really very easily so the queasy look on my face is enough to tell my family *Don't ask about my prep, I'll throw up over you!*
    The days in April to those in early September were really great, I was stuck in a kind of limbo, even though having fun, I was constantly reminding my self that this studying is for a test and that is the moment my self-confidence runs out! How strange rite? You're studying happily and learning well until someone reminds you, this is for a TEST! And that is where all the happiness and memorisation gets sucked out of you. TEST is an acronym for------>
                                       T ime to
                                       E rase
                                       S tudent's
                                       T hought process
     So, what I'm trying to do is relax, think positive and trying to erase the TEST word from my mind before it erases my thought process!

  

  

   

Too Bad......it's Monday!

   It's Monday! The day every thing has to go wacko! Time to get up, bear the brunt of my sister's grunts *Oh why is it Monday already* while burning her eggs. Time to feed my babies Kitty and Tiger while trying to kill the obstinate rampage of cockroaches in the kitchen. As soon as I sit down to catch my breath, the door bell rings, the maid has arrived rather late, what a lot this mornin brings. 9 am! Got to wake up my aunt before the bank closes and to prepare her tea while dodging the ever-irritating lizard living in the dishes like a king. Attending my sister's call at 1, she has had enough of her classes already, starvin like a cockroach, I tell her, dude you gotta wait till 4 pm, she screams, that is bout like hours away ten! And what's on the menu? Served lentils right on cue!......And nothin else. Cause, it's Monday! Sunday is the "Funday" when something good is cooked. Black Monday is not called Black Monday for nothin. The maid is nagging to go cause on MONday she always leaves at 11...which leaves my hyper-active aunt to cook the roti's....cause it's Monday. At last, big sis arrives and stares open-mouthed at the yellowish-green daal dripping on her plate *Yesterday's biryani already digested on account of her question about it *, opening a packet of biscuits I would never eat even in the Sahara to control my sister's appetite....and mine. Trying to drowse the day off rather than making a stab at it, missing the 5 'o' clock alarm *I made my OWN tea today thank you very much* listening to aunt and trying to groan mutely at the same time. At last, Evening is here, other half of the day almost near. Trying to help aunt in the kitchen, listening to the never ending litany : made-my-own-tea-today while humming Green Day's 'Wake me up when September ends' and wondering that the independent tea story has grown rather old synonymous to once-upon-a-time. Eating dinner while listening to sister *None of my friends came today, looks like they are still sleeping through the weekend* ....cause it's Monday!....With the tea story still in the background music history. Grandmama eats silently, reliving the visit of her son since yesterday and worrying about the new dishes *10 months old* getting dirty. Monday has a silently secret bliss, no washing up, expecting the maid to arrive late! but will hopefully do the dishes, unless aunt takes pity on her *Leave it I'll do it...poor thing*. She goes off to see if Ash and Abhi are parents yet and sis off to surf the world and travel places.....on the internet, while grandmama fretting about the maid coming late or not coming at all! Ah grandmama,if only you knew tomorrow's TUESday, it won't be half as bad if she does not come. As for me, drunk as rum, I rest my head against my bed and think, Oh the bliss, to relive this day again after six days, and an important start-of-the-week day it is.....and very hard to miss!