There comes a time when your erratic aunt feels the sudden need to visit her very old friend whom she once sat with in school days. And ofcourse you are the person to accompany her. Preparations are made, calling her up (not a very difficult task for your aunt), deciding which day would be best to visit, telling the driver in advance the date and time of your sojourn (which he very needlessly asks) and then you are free to sit down and mull over your decision to go *When did I even agree to go? In my sleep??* but not wanting to depress your aunt and for the sake of her tears, you hange the noose around your neck. Alas, the fated day arrives, you think that you are just making a big deal out of it. Just sit there like a mannequin, smile and nod at the right times and try to look real bored and pass on signals to aunt that its time to go. Easy enough, done that loads of times before.No harm in doing so and if you disagree, there will be much more painful music for your ears to hear, thus you head out the door with her pondering over your examination days. One of your aunts major tasks? Getting lost. Thus, it takes about an hour to reach the destination which could have been done in thirty minutes. You are greeted and then taken into a large living room. Without any furthur ado, your aunt and her friend lapse into a deep discussion which you are certain will not only put you but your cat to sleep. You sit and start dreaming about your crush when the freind asks if you would like anything to drink? "A pepsi would be nice but do bring out some cold pakola if you have any", you would have liked to say out loud but ofcourse can't. Your aunt is pursuading her friend not to bring out anything while you stare in horror at her, trying not to look too obvious *What? One hour in the sweltering heat and nothing to eat in this claustrophobic place? Where is the justice in there??* But fortunately God was on your side and the lady goes into the kitchen to get some refreshments while you grab the chance to tell your aunt to hurry and eat and run!
Expectations grow as the friend takes a long time to come back from the kitchen and you start to feel happy that atleast SOMEthing paid of from this visit but alas! All you eyes greet is a tray carrying biscuits you hate and tea! You never drink tea unless at night to study! You munch on a soggy biscuit while refusing to drink the brown stuff but failing to do so. The lady is literally begging you to eat the sour biscuits, irritatingly *No! I don't wanto to eat them! Why don't you just leave me alone??!*, thus gaining inspiration that you'll never treat your guests the way she does *No fair getting down on your knees, please eat those stale, maggot-ridden biscuits, I've been wanting to get rid of them for so long*. And as my sister says, "
Khaao nahin to maar dein gay" (If you don't eat, we'll kill you!)
After masticatiing and with much difficulty, swallowing the inedible stuff and a sip of the scalding, milk-ridden tea, you finally think it's time to go. But not your aunt. Totally ignoring you, she sits like an attentive student towards her friend. You think, she could'nt have paid THIS much attention in class towards the teacher as much as she does now! Just then, perhaps catching a depressed look upon your face, the lady makes an effort to introduce you to her children. You are in no mood for socializing but give way like a defeated barrier. And what is more to boost you? A couple of *whiny and loud* toddlers. What a way to spend a Saturday afternoon! You think you could have had much fun giving an examination than this. And what a thrilling way to torture someone! You think this woman could earn her pocket-money by opening a fresh torture-chamber in her basement. Or was this a method of driving away guests?
At last, the horrendous evening! ended and as you sail away thankfully in the car with your aunt who pipes up, "My! I enjoyed a lot today! Looks like you also got a bit spry and verdant because of the visit! We'll go again next week okay? And you can't help but laugh and laugh and laugh............
