I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!





I can hardly believe it! I am at last free from that damned, stupid test! No late-night cramming, no listening to PJ *Go and study*, no lecture's from sis *Is that the way to study?*, no loathsome books in my room (the first best thing I did right after I came was to junk 'em in the store-that's where they belong torturous devils!), the grass is looking much greener (that's what they say-the grass is always greener on the other side!), sky is looking much bluer, sun shining brighter, food tastes greater, no, study, study, study, study is finished! Yesssssssssssss!!
My room is looking a LOT cleaner with those books gone. Now I can truly relax and do stuff which I have been yearning to do for so long! And at last have time for myself. I was really planning to write a lot as the test (or rather say testS) have drained a lot of my energy. And the fact that I did not get in does so not change my plans. My family's happy that I at least got into a medical school (not that I wanted to) but as long as they are satisfied, I'm too, why give a shit about any one else?!
I did not feel a thing when the result came, it was inevitable and I was expecting it so no expectations, no tears. Rather, I was much relieved that I won't even have the tension accumulating inside me now that I know where I stand. That is gone and I am again a care-free and tension-free person that I was before! Yaay!
Even if I do feel down about something, I just need to talk to my sis or call up my best pal Anthony. Both of them immediately make things right again!
About today, I just sat in front of the computer and watched a dozen movies ( The Secret Window, Jurassic Park, 27 Dresses) and PJ did not say anything! Usually she says about a hundred.

So, nowadays, I plan to spend a lot of time with my family and yes, that includes my cats also. During those torturous days, I only met them when I got to fed them. Other than that, I did'nt have time! And Physics, Chem and Biology have rotted my brain so much that I can hardly think!
Sometimes, one can really guess how hectic studies are. Constantly, you are reminded of the fact that you have to go and study. Even the talk of it makes me want to vomit! The routine seriously gets totally disabled during "those" days. You get up at 7 kicked by your sister out of bed, have a biiig breakfast under her watchful eye and finally sit miserably at your desk while watching your devilish sister contently get into bed and go to sleep. While you suffer on......

                  Just today, I woke up with a feeling of sounding premonition and doom. For a minute I just sat there like a dummy, trying to figure out why was I feeling as if surrounded by dementors when suddenly it hit me...I didn't have to study anymore! I can do what I want to do today! Surfing the net, reading a book....anything! My patronus had chased away the dementors! No need of hiding Harry Potter inside my text-book, no lectures about why I'm not studying, I'm freeee, I'm freeee, I'm freeeeeeeee...........! At last, but now that I have gotten into the insufferable bondage named 'Medical' and made the 'Unbreakable Vow', I guess my sister will be a lot harder on me in the matter of studies than she was before! And as much as I can party right now, I can hardly keep the reality from hitting me that the foreign looking objects in my sisters cupboard, on which I once upon a time used to gag on, are going to be cracked open very hesitantly by me! And reminded of my sisters quips in the past *Don't make that kind of face you WILL have to read them one day!* and while she pipes up *OMG! I'm going to study this today! I can hardly wait!* with me looking on with utter disbelieve (that is she going a bit wacko? But, seriously, I do live with some weird people!), then I can't really say that I wasn't warned........

Study, study, study......and did I say Study?!

      At times I sit back and think, where have I been for the past one year? And the answer is always : Buried in my books! Literally buried inside them, decomposed and rotting like a piece of mold-eaten lasagna. Since the beginning of 2011 and even before that!, I was locked away in my hall, studying the hours away, winters were hot tea, my blanket with my cat curled up beside me and my books. New Year's eve passed away in the Law's of Thermodynamics and the damned structure of Benzene. Because of my incessant studying, I developed a chronic pain in my neck and my lower back which has since always made me roll my head every few seconds which is a total joke in my family, *Stop rolling your head like that! What will other people think about it, as if I really care about what other people think!*

     Even after my exams, after a mere 24 hours of freedom, I was again forced to touch (with a 1000 volt electric shock!) those disgusting books. And, totally forgetting the first year systematics....calling up my friends, *hey know how to do mass to volume?*........and receiving the same reply from the other end. Tea has become the bane of my existence, since November 2010. Tea always perks up my drooping eyes and allows me to concentrate. In about a week I'm gonna be giving my DOW test, for which I have been slaving away since April! Since April!! Where is the justice in that?! And I'm not bluffing, I used to wake up at Fajar each day, sat down to study and believe it or not, I also used to study at night. A few days were spent at Anthony's (my best buddy) house and at her cousin's wedding in early September "trying" to relax while constantly going over and over what I had studied in my mind, with Aunt (make that PJ) calling hour after hour *Is Nabeela studying?? Is Nabeela studying??* PJ, don't you think you're increasing the phone bill calling to make sure I'm glued to those hellish books?
      So, now I don't really care, I mean I'm not making it a life or death experience, which I have before and totally driven my self crazy over it, so no more. I get in, fine excellent, I don't get in.....OK! No need for a brain hemorrhage! And it's not a case of sour grapes, to anyone who is reading this!
       The past six months have not entirely been hellish. I used to study at night with my sister who had her exams at that time and it was great fun. I could ask her anything that I didn't understand right there and then and I also saw a couple of movies also like 'The House of Wax', 'Freaky Friday', 'Monster-in-Law' etc.
I like to study but the few days before a test are nightmarish. Also I get tensed really very easily so the queasy look on my face is enough to tell my family *Don't ask about my prep, I'll throw up over you!*
    The days in April to those in early September were really great, I was stuck in a kind of limbo, even though having fun, I was constantly reminding my self that this studying is for a test and that is the moment my self-confidence runs out! How strange rite? You're studying happily and learning well until someone reminds you, this is for a TEST! And that is where all the happiness and memorisation gets sucked out of you. TEST is an acronym for------>
                                       T ime to
                                       E rase
                                       S tudent's
                                       T hought process
     So, what I'm trying to do is relax, think positive and trying to erase the TEST word from my mind before it erases my thought process!

  

  

   

Too Bad......it's Monday!

   It's Monday! The day every thing has to go wacko! Time to get up, bear the brunt of my sister's grunts *Oh why is it Monday already* while burning her eggs. Time to feed my babies Kitty and Tiger while trying to kill the obstinate rampage of cockroaches in the kitchen. As soon as I sit down to catch my breath, the door bell rings, the maid has arrived rather late, what a lot this mornin brings. 9 am! Got to wake up my aunt before the bank closes and to prepare her tea while dodging the ever-irritating lizard living in the dishes like a king. Attending my sister's call at 1, she has had enough of her classes already, starvin like a cockroach, I tell her, dude you gotta wait till 4 pm, she screams, that is bout like hours away ten! And what's on the menu? Served lentils right on cue!......And nothin else. Cause, it's Monday! Sunday is the "Funday" when something good is cooked. Black Monday is not called Black Monday for nothin. The maid is nagging to go cause on MONday she always leaves at 11...which leaves my hyper-active aunt to cook the roti's....cause it's Monday. At last, big sis arrives and stares open-mouthed at the yellowish-green daal dripping on her plate *Yesterday's biryani already digested on account of her question about it *, opening a packet of biscuits I would never eat even in the Sahara to control my sister's appetite....and mine. Trying to drowse the day off rather than making a stab at it, missing the 5 'o' clock alarm *I made my OWN tea today thank you very much* listening to aunt and trying to groan mutely at the same time. At last, Evening is here, other half of the day almost near. Trying to help aunt in the kitchen, listening to the never ending litany : made-my-own-tea-today while humming Green Day's 'Wake me up when September ends' and wondering that the independent tea story has grown rather old synonymous to once-upon-a-time. Eating dinner while listening to sister *None of my friends came today, looks like they are still sleeping through the weekend* ....cause it's Monday!....With the tea story still in the background music history. Grandmama eats silently, reliving the visit of her son since yesterday and worrying about the new dishes *10 months old* getting dirty. Monday has a silently secret bliss, no washing up, expecting the maid to arrive late! but will hopefully do the dishes, unless aunt takes pity on her *Leave it I'll do it...poor thing*. She goes off to see if Ash and Abhi are parents yet and sis off to surf the world and travel places.....on the internet, while grandmama fretting about the maid coming late or not coming at all! Ah grandmama,if only you knew tomorrow's TUESday, it won't be half as bad if she does not come. As for me, drunk as rum, I rest my head against my bed and think, Oh the bliss, to relive this day again after six days, and an important start-of-the-week day it is.....and very hard to miss!

And They Lived Happily Ever After.........

Yesterday, I watched a movie which had me in fits. Which should tell you that it was Indian and it was supposed to be "serious". Nearly every Indian movie has only one story-line which clearly marks the beginings and endings of "When Harry met Sally". This movie which I saw was no more different than its companions but its mere ending was so stupid (yes, I'm using the word stupid), that I can't believe the director of the film went through such a hard time making it if he just had to end it like he did'nt care anymore. Maybe he just decided to end it all for the sake of an "ending" or converted it into an ugly version of a hollywood movie. That is the message the viewers will get if they waste their time on it. The initial story-line is the same as all: Boy meets girl and girl meets boy when both of them are engaged to people they havent even seen.....imagine that! Then to get home they very much "accidently" end up travelling together. What happens after that is waaay too hilarious. The girl the guy is supposed to marry turns out to be the best friend of the one he falls in love with. And after many mishaps and "funny" incidents, they both end up having their weddings in the same hall. Are they for real? Obviously the director believes in too many coincidences.
The love-sick guy arrives laden on a horse while the he sees the love of his life (yeah right) circling the fire with her to-be-husband. Suddenly, on cue smoke is seen arising from the area where the food is being cooked and fire erupts (so conveniantly) burning the hall and making every body rush to save their lives. May I ask a question? Will ever a mother stand quietly at one side and watch her child get hurt? You might think that Indian movies offer the inevitable but the inevitably funnier thing is that only the bride is left behind the flames, exhibiting a series of fashionable screams while her father cries helplessly and the mother? The mother seems to have totally disappeared. The camera zooms onto the faces of all the people, the woman trying to look scared while urging their mascara to stay intact while the men stare as if attacked by an acute case of constipation. I know that India is making a very healthy developement, far more than Pakistan and I do see fire engines roaring away on our streets, could'nt any of the guests call a fire engine? They all seemed to have gotten amnesia while watching the hero (of course) to ride faithfully and save his betrothed. And this is not all. After making a rather crude declaration of love for each other in front of every one, the father of the guy-stealer (and that too of her best friend!) gives them his blessing and the other poor bride, was as you can predict dissolves into tears. Nope. Not at all. Some mother theresian instinct awakens in her and she makes a gesture as if to say I give up! You can have this fatso, I'll find a much cuter one!.......And the fire rages on. Even a Norman Wisdom movie has not made me laugh so much as this one. Can it ever happen that you go to a wedding and the bride insinuates that she does not want to marry the guy?! And what about all that money which was being scrimped and saved by the parents for a whole one year? Oh yes they have hundreds of trees growing in their gardens which are yielding money instead of leaves and fruits. And as for the hero and his to-be-wife, they will get tired of each other in a day and regret the havoc they created....who cares even??
What angered me was the amount of reality missing from this piece of shit. All Indian movies portray one essential disbelief : All is well that ends well. This is not so. Nobody's life is perfect. I once saw a cartoon of  Baby Blues where the Dad is reading a fairy tale to his kids:
Dad :....and they lived happily ever after.
Zoe : How can they live happily ever after? Did'nt they get chicken pox or a case of yellow fever or something?
Dad :Yes but this is just a story!
Zoe : Even then how can they live happily ever after?!?!


Happily ever after huh?!

    Since child hood we have read this phrase so many times that it has crusted and gotten mold in the years ahead. Removing children from reality is a very dangerous thing to do and to imply that life has no problems and troubles. So what if you tell kids that :
Snow White poisoned her husband? (Like mother like daughter)
Cindrella fell down the stairs in her glass slippers and broke her neck?
Ariel got fished out and was cooked and smoked?
Sleeping Beauty ate sleeping pills?
Belle got eaten by her beast of a husband?
Pinnochio is a liar?
Mulan was a racist?
Hansal and Gretal were canibals?
THIS is reality.....well not so candidly but what the heck, children nowadays learn much more worse from the internet.
As for me I seriously regret the 2 hours I wasted on this thing. Come to think of it maybe it has one main lesson for me : Not to ever watch a movie of my Aunt's choice!