At times I sit back and think, where have I been for the past one year? And the answer is always : Buried in my books! Literally buried inside them, decomposed and rotting like a piece of mold-eaten lasagna. Since the beginning of 2011 and even before that!, I was locked away in my hall, studying the hours away, winters were hot tea, my blanket with my cat curled up beside me and my books. New Year's eve passed away in the Law's of Thermodynamics and the damned structure of Benzene. Because of my incessant studying, I developed a chronic pain in my neck and my lower back which has since always made me roll my head every few seconds which is a total joke in my family, *Stop rolling your head like that! What will other people think about it, as if I really care about what other people think!*
Even after my exams, after a mere 24 hours of freedom, I was again forced to touch (with a 1000 volt electric shock!) those disgusting books. And, totally forgetting the first year systematics....calling up my friends, *hey know how to do mass to volume?*........and receiving the same reply from the other end. Tea has become the bane of my existence, since November 2010. Tea always perks up my drooping eyes and allows me to concentrate. In about a week I'm gonna be giving my DOW test, for which I have been slaving away since April! Since April!! Where is the justice in that?! And I'm not bluffing, I used to wake up at Fajar each day, sat down to study and believe it or not, I also used to study at night. A few days were spent at Anthony's (my best buddy) house and at her cousin's wedding in early September "trying" to relax while constantly going over and over what I had studied in my mind, with Aunt (make that PJ) calling hour after hour *Is Nabeela studying?? Is Nabeela studying??* PJ, don't you think you're increasing the phone bill calling to make sure I'm glued to those hellish books?
So, now I don't really care, I mean I'm not making it a life or death experience, which I have before and totally driven my self crazy over it, so no more. I get in, fine excellent, I don't get in.....OK! No need for a brain hemorrhage! And it's not a case of sour grapes, to anyone who is reading this!
The past six months have not entirely been hellish. I used to study at night with my sister who had her exams at that time and it was great fun. I could ask her anything that I didn't understand right there and then and I also saw a couple of movies also like 'The House of Wax', 'Freaky Friday', 'Monster-in-Law' etc.
I like to study but the few days before a test are nightmarish. Also I get tensed really very easily so the queasy look on my face is enough to tell my family *Don't ask about my prep, I'll throw up over you!*
The days in April to those in early September were really great, I was stuck in a kind of limbo, even though having fun, I was constantly reminding my self that this studying is for a test and that is the moment my self-confidence runs out! How strange rite? You're studying happily and learning well until someone reminds you, this is for a TEST! And that is where all the happiness and memorisation gets sucked out of you. TEST is an acronym for------>
T ime to
E rase
S tudent's
T hought process
So, what I'm trying to do is relax, think positive and trying to erase the TEST word from my mind before it erases my thought process!
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